I know you’re searching for anything you can find

Any scrap of paper will do

And you can almost lose your mind

When you’re searching

For pictures or letters or notes from me to you

For pieces of the past

Or one more thing for your scrap book

That you can use to hang on to me -

But I’m gone.

And there’s one more thing

You might be able to find

One more thing

But the tears make you blind

When you try to hang on

When desperation floods your mind

And your heart longs for a sign

That everyone’s wrong

And I’m not really gone…

 

But for now the same old pictures will have to do

When I can’t be near you.

 

The separation cuts like a knife

The realization that never in this life

Will you hear my voice

Or see me smile

Or be able to hug me

Or take me on a walk

Or hear me talk.

 

We shared our dreams

And our love

And our lives

And we thought it was forever

But forever left town

And you feel like a clown

Because I’m not around.

 

Sometimes you see someone

Who looks so much like me

And you want to run up to them

And hug them

And say “It’s so good to see you…”

But that someone

Doesn’t even know what you’re talking about.

 

It just isn’t right

That I’m not around

It just isn’t right

That I can’t be found

 

But until the day comes when I leave your mind

When you don’t recall as much

When you get so busy it’s hard to think of me

You’ll just keep looking

For one more thing.

 

That’s OK because I know time goes so slowly for you

And so quickly for me

One day for me is like a thousand years for you

And a thousand years for you is like one day for me

And a moment of time that cannot be divided by 2

Is the same as eternity

And I left you behind in time and space

I left behind the daily race

And the chance to ever see my face grow wrinkled

And the chance to ever see my hands grow weak

And the chance to ever see you again

In a world where the only thing that’s permanent is change…

 

But by the time my pictures fade away

By the time my letters to you disappear

By the time you look up and realize all the years

Have gone by so quickly

You’ll see me again

And never need to look again

For just one more thing.

 

 

According to II Peter 3:8, to the Lord “A thousand years is as one day, and one day is as a thousand years.” At the very least this should tell us that our conception of time is very limited and our lives are like a flash of light compared to eternity. I Corinthians 15 talks about the Lord’s return being like a “Twinkling of the eye.” According to Wuest, a Greek scholar, this phrase literally means “In a moment of time that cannot be divided.” What number cannot be divided by 2? I will leave that question with you. How fast is fast? How slow is slow? How fast is “A twinkling of an eye?” How long is a moment of time that cannot be divided by 2?

While we are looking at old photos, reading cherished letters again, walking along a path we used to share with the one we lost, they are in another realm of time where in only moments they will be welcoming us again to their corner of eternity.  Maybe they are setting the tables for a big feast at our arrival, in places where time cannot be divided.

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Blue Ballerina” was written for those who have lost someone because of a crime.