The place where Samantha Spady died can bring back memories that cause pain, or it can remind us of wonderful memories.  That place can haunt us, or help us, if it becomes a reminder of the promise given at the end of this poem.

Author: Randy Stahla, copyright 2006.

 

25 windows

In the place

Where you flew away

25 windows

On the front of the house

Of your last stay

 

25 windows

You can see through

Each to a memory

25 memories and more wait at the door

And flowers growing near

Teach us lessons

About beginnings and endings

When a beautiful person flew away

Till we meet her again someday

 

She was a person

Who exploded upon the world around

Like beautiful flowers

With color and beauty and excitement

 

I can see her running

Through the house with 25 windows

Trying to look through each one

To the whole world

Excited about life

With all the colors

Radiant like flowers in full sun

In the garden of her dreams

Where ideas and inspiration

Flowed like water

In the garden of her thoughts

That were too numerous to see them all

Too complex to understand fully

Taking the world by surprise

And giving to us over and over

That which we don’t fully understand

But love always

 

25 windows

Are on the front of the house

Where she died

And the trees in the front yard

Still reach to the sun

The grass still grows under skies of blue

And puffy white clouds

That form new shapes every moment

Still reach out to you

When you sit and watch

The house with 25 windows…

 

Thoughts of this house can bring pain

Where we lost such a treasure

But 25 windows are still there

And the ones she looked through

Can make us aware

Of all the memories

And things we treasure

Things we should look for

To heal our broken hearts…

 

Can you see through the windows with me?

Can you see the memories I see?

 

I see a little girl –

 

With bright red cheeks

And her mom saying,

“Wash both your face and hands – they’re a mess.”

 

And then she tries to hold a wet bar of soap

In the sink

But it flies everywhere and lands on the floor…

 

I can see small hands holding a camera upside down

Taking pictures of those around her

Petting a cat and picking it up

And squeezing till it can hardly breath

 

Playing with dolls in the yard

In the summer sun and talking to them

As though they were alive

Bossing them around

 

Putting her hands on the patio door

Leaving hand prints on the glass

From everything she touched

 

Bare feet in the grass

In the pool

Walking, running, jumping

Trying to stay cool in the sun

 

Growing up with friends

Next to miles and miles of corn and wheat

And parades in the street

Strings from Pom-poms

Lying on the ground

From being shaken at the sound

Of victories at sporting events

 

Drawing pictures from parades of ideas

That flowed through her mind

Too excited and joyful

And exuberant to always know the danger

Of dabbling in things that have power

Over your mind and body

Leaning over the cliffs

Of feeling invulnerable to destruction

And feeling immune from sudden death

 

Laughing

And not knowing evil

Can touch “Even me.”

Even “I” can be hurt

Even “I” will fly away

Someday – but “not now.”

 

And in the midst of sudden destruction

Are 25 windows

Through which we can see memories

Of the good –-

Memories that can carry and encourage those left behind...

 

And in the midst of sudden sorrow

Are 25 windows

And flowers

That grow to remind us

That life is short

But beautiful

And flowers grow

And bloom

And are blown away

In the wind…

 

And with 25 windows are way more than 25 memories and flowers

And these words from Isaiah 25:

 

“He will swallow up death for all time, and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. And it will be said in that day, ‘Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us. This is the Lord for whom we have waited, let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.’”

 

Isaiah 25:8-9

 

 

There are 25 windows in the front of the Sigma Pi house where Samantha Spady died. It is a beautiful house that can bring peace if you think about God’s promise from Isaiah 25 and if you remember that Samantha looked out those windows while she was alive. As I sat in front of the house one summer day I tried to imagine what Samantha would have seen looking out the windows (being a deep thinker and a tremendous artist). Some people would have seen only the street and people walking by, but what did she see as she viewed the world from behind those windows?

 

 

Each window I imagined to be a portal through which I could see memories from her life, and I tried to think of the good things that she did while she was here. Each window was a portal through time that allowed me to see her as a little girl, beloved by her parents and family.

Go back to Samantha Spady Pages

Go to Timberline Church Home Page

Pictures of flowers copyright 2005, Desertsnow.org.  Artwork and pictures of Samantha Spady are property of the Spady Foundation, used by permission. The Sigma Pi house has been renovated by Timberline Church, Ft. Collins, Colorado, to be used for youth activities. Picture of house used by permission.

Flowers are located on the CSU campus on the east side of College avenue near Pitkin.

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Blue Ballerina” was written for those who have lost someone because of a crime.